Question:
My mother-in-law(MIL) has a cold sore on her lip right now. I never
noticed her having them before, so I asked her if that is what it was.
She said it was and that she only gets about one a year. I told my 4 year old
daughter not to let her kiss her while she
had that sore. When we got home she told me that she had kissed her
before I told her about it. So I washed her face well. My MIL never
kisses her on the mouth, just cheeks and arms and stuff. So I'm
wondering how dangerous it is to be kissed on these areas while
someone has a cold sore. Can my daughter get a sore on any part of
her body from a kiss?
My mother-in-law is pretty ignorant about most things. I told her today, after my
daughter came running to me crying "Granny kissed me again!" that she
shouldn't kiss her while she has that sore. She acted like she just
thought my daughter was grossed out by the sore. So I told her it is
hightly contagious and that she can cause my daughter to start getting
cold sores. She still acted like it was no big deal. She said that
she doesn't know why she gets them this time of year and that it must
be because of all the colds going around. So I dropped the bomb on
her; I told her it is herpes. Can you believe she didn't know this?
She just said, "well, I guess I've got herpes." I still don't think
she really understands what this means. Even if I gave her books to
read about it, she'd either not read it or she still wouldn't believe
it or think that it really matters.
Now, she really loves my daughter.How do I deal with such an ignorant woman. You really
have to know her. She takes antibiotics for colds even though I've
told her a million times that it is ineffective and
counter-productive, and she's even seen it on the news several times.
So, can't my daughter be infected even if she isn't kissed directly on
the lips? And what if my MIL touches her lips and then touches my
daughter?
Answer:
You have good reason to be concerned. Herpes can be spread by touch (kiss
in your case) but highly unlikely. To be passed by a kiss, your daughter
would have to have an open sore and be kissed there. Since the face is
always being touched and possibly scratched by ourselves this makes this
particular method of being transferred possible; I have a very good friend
who has had herpes on the tip of his nose since he was a child. So, again
it is possible but not very common. I have discussed this with several
doctors, some say yes and some say no. Herpes is not a gross thing nor should you or your daughter avoid all contact with
your mother in law. As my physician put it to me, you just want to avoid
contact with the outbreak.
